Anjasaurus

Edinburgh trip summary

First, I just want to say Edinburgh is a beautiful place. Old buildings mixed with new ones, and nature feels close even though it’s a quite big city.

I arrived in Edinburgh at around 15 on Thursday, waiting for Bax to pick me up at the airport, which was small and a little bit confusing. We took the airport bus into town, gong through lovely green areas before we reached it. We left my bags in the apartment and went for a walk, trying to find a map and learn to find my way.

Friday was castle-day, we spent most of the morning walking around the castle grounds and taking lots of pictures. And in the evening we went to a ceilidh, a Scottish/Gaelic social dance event. It was HOT, exhausting and so fun, I wish we had something similar in Sweden. :)

During the weekend we went to Dynamic Earth and the Botanic Gardens. And we walked a lot, sightseeing around Edinburgh. Monday I spent by myself at museums and walking. Walking is definitely a theme for this trip. I saw parts of the National Museum of Scotland, mainly Scotland’s history, and also the Museum of Childhood with an impressing collection of toys, books, clothes and other items related to childhood.

On Tuesday, we went to Edinburgh Zoo and again took a lot of photos. Wednesday was rainy and grey, so instead of going out somewhere we took the bus to IKEA, about 20 mins away, and spent the morning trying beds and sofas.

A lot of time was also spent watching TV and playing games, which might not sound like a proper trip, but I loved it. There is only so much you can take in in a day, and it was fun and relaxing :) I got to practice my Mario Kart skills, and got into Big Bang theory. I need to watch all of it when I get back to Luleå!

I’m hoping I will be able to go back to Scotland again soon, I want to see more of other places in Scotland too, other cities and rural areas. And of course, more of Edinburgh :)

A short summary

The crazy week is over, and things are definitely calming down. Maybe too much even. I’ve had things to do all day for a week, and now I have nothing. It’s hard to get used to, because I have to revise and such, but with no schedule I get lazy and slow.

But, knowing me, I will get restless soon and get things done. I’ve noticed it more and more over the last days, I can’t sit still and just do nothing, just relax. I need something to keep my mind occupied, or I will get bored :)

One week and one day until the first exam, and another four days until the last. In two weeks I will be home with mum and dad. So little time! I never realised the end of term was so close. This has been one of the best terms so far. I’ve spent a lot of time with old friends (<3) and made a lot of new ones (<3). I have found out things about myself I didn’t know before, and it feels good :)

Star Wars (IV)

I just watched Star Wars with some friends. I have to admit this was the first time I’ve seen any of the movies and there are a lot of fun situations and weird things. But the story is great, and I look forward to seeing the rest, and especially episode V and VI.

I also hope we can all watch them together, it was great fun! I can hardly talk now, too much talking for my poor throat. Should make sure I don’t have a cold next time ;)

A few questions about love

Mymlan (one of my Swedish favourites) asks eleven questions about love, and I thought I’d do an experiment and answer them, one at a time, without editing the text afterwards. Spontaneous thoughts are interesting :)

1. What is love?
Love is a feeling, a state of mind, a biological function to help us survive. It’s also a past-time, a way to keep our overworking minds busy.

2. Can you be happy without love?
Definitely. But I don’t think you can spend a whole life without love. Without a partner, yes, but not without love. I think you need something or someone to care about. But it is definitely possible to be happy without love for shorter periods of time

3. Can you live without love?
No, I don’t think so. If you don’t have a partner, you have a friend, siblings, work mates, pets, objects. There needs to be some kind of love.

4. Is it possible to love the same person through your whole life?
Yes, it all depends on what you demand from love. What you expect. I don’t think what is defined as love today, in media, is possible to maintain your whole life. It’s too passionate, too wild, too much “for the moment”. A love lasting a whole life needs to be based on something more, and I think you need to accept that it changes. This might include being satisfied with ok, not looking for awesome all the time. It’s a choice one has to do.

5. Can you love others without loving yourself?
Yes. I don’t think it’s a healthy love, but you can.

6. Can you accept love from others if you don’t love yourself?
No. I know that now. You can understand it, logically, but not accept it. You might always see that person as being wrong, a less intelligent person, that cannot see your mistakes and failures. That doesn’t work.

7. Is it possible to love a person you haven’t met, but know through the Internet?
Absolutely. Meeting in person can both be positive and negative, just like meeting on the Internet. I don’t think there is a big difference. However, I don’t know if I can feel deep love, as in a life-long partner, without meeting the person first. I haven’t tried, but I think that’s one of the very few situations where meeting in person is a requirement to know.

8. Are we too fixed with love, and falling in love, in western society? Or is it the other way around, there’s too little love?
I think there is too much focus on love, and especially on “the love of your life”. It creates pressure and sadness, trying to fit everything into a small definition. Love can be so many things.

9. Can you love someone you don’t like?
No, I think you have to like someone to be able to love.

10. Do you have to love your children/parents?
No, but not doing so is very odd to me. I don’t think I could live such a life, though I understand a lot of people do, without problems.

11. Is there people who can’t love?
There are people for everything. Yes, I think there are people who can’t love.

Phew.

Enjoy the beautiful things

Today is a day to think of all the beautiful things in life. You know, like

  • Soft pillows
  • Lyrics that push that special button
  • Music that makes you feel
  • Ice on the lake
  • Snow on the roads
  • The smell of newly washed clothes
  • A beautiful voice
  • Love, for friends and family
  • A sleepy cat on the desk
  • Christmas getting closer
  • The taste of chocolate melting on your tongue
  • Talking in clichées, and understanding why they exist
  • Silence
  • A big hug
  • Laughing, together with someone

And all those other wonderful things you can think of. I want to hug the world, I have so much to share. :)

What is a real friend?

As I wrote earlier, I love the internet (I refuse to say Internet, it’s a phenomenon not an entity, in my head). It’s huge, it’s scary, it’s full of possibilities.

It’s also full of people, all kinds of people. I see a lot of writing about the bad things about internet, and especially about anonymity. How being anonymous brings out the worst in people, and how internet is full of haters. I agree with that, there are a lot of haters. Sometimes they really overwhelm you. But on the other hand, if you actually think about it, internet is full of nice people. They are fun, interesting, smart or just plain nice. Josh wrote a really great post on this which inspired me to write, unfortunately for some of you it is in Swedish. I’ll sum it up. He describes the general picture of people on the internet, just like I’ve done. He asks, do you really think people would spend as much time online as they do, if all they got was hate? (Of course not, I say). He also brings up examples of where he’s got help from complete strangers on different problems, just by writing about it on his blog. And in the “physical life” (I don’t like to call it real life, everything you do is real) too, someone taking care of you when life sucks. Not just talking, but letting you stay over, send things you need.

You can make awesome friends through the internet, you have other possibilities than in physical life. The internet opens up the big wide world to more people than just those socially skilled, and still almost everyone can benefit from it. You might even be able to get a closer relationship through internet, it all depends on what kind of person you are. We are unique.
My question is, how can a friend, that does exist, that obviously care, be worth less than another friend, just because you have physically met the latter but not the first?

The internet is not a unique, special, a magical thing. It is just another way of communicating. When you could suddenly talk to your friends over distance (telephone) they weren’t less real. And it still didn’t remove the need to meet people in person. Most people can’t live their life in total solitude, that haven’t changed with the internet. You just got another channel to be social through, they complete and benefit from each other to create a big picture.

Cogito, ergo sum. My friends think, therefore they exist. They aren’t different just because I’ve never met some of them.

The grass is always greener..

I keep thinking everything else is better than what I have. If I have to write an essay, an exam would be lovely. (Just that the opposite was true only a year ago.) When doing mostly nothing, I wanted to be busy and do lots of fun things. And now I’m busy doing “lots of fun things” (which turned out not too fun) and all I want is to stay home and sleep.

I don’t like this mode, when I’m dissatisfied with everything. It might be normal mode, but I prefer to think that I can be happy and satisfied most of the time.

I have a new goal. Survive this week. :P

The best

No one can have as good friends as I have. I’m totally sure.

They are.. the best. I can’t find words enough.

<3

Late night thinking

It got far too late last night, I should sleep. But I don’t want to, I want to think, talk and write.

Lots of weird, and good, thoughts pop up that late. Usually there are too many bad thoughts for it to be useful writing down, but I felt good tonight.

I’m thinking about the future. About love, friends, family, work. I look forward to being a teacher. Teaching students about two of my favourite subjects, make them understand, get better, enjoy it. Also to be there for them, see them and help them grow up, see what kind of persons they might be.

I definitely look forward to having a family. I don’t see me having one soon, but I definitely want to have one. A big one. I have so much love to give, it would be a waste to just have a few children ;)

About friends and love.. that’s tricky. I have so many friends I value, for different things, but I still struggle to think of what I can give them. It still feels like they’re my friends to be nice to me, not because I’m a good friend, even though I know that’s all wrong. I love them, I care for them. They all have their special places in a corner of my heart and it kind of overwhelms me. Not in a bad way, I just feel full of affection.
There’s also that different kind of love. I have a feeling it’s not for me. I will have to wait. I miss the physical parts (hugging, kissing, cuddling) but I don’t miss being in love. I don’t miss being focused on one person.

I’m happy. I’m so glad when I feel this way.

Hullo

As much to do as I assumed. No food, no sleep, no rest. And it has only just started.

But, huge amounts of fun, friends and laughs. Enjoying myself? You bet!