I’m taking a well-deserved Easter holiday and hoping catching up won’t be too bad when I get back. I both do and don’t look forward to it. Spending time with the family is very relaxing and nice, I’m glad summer isn’t that far away :)
For several reasons! :D
It’s getting time to go home :) Today was the last lesson until mid January. Before that, I have two essays, two exams and a presentation. It’s a lot, but it feels ok still.
Going home will be really awesome though. I miss my family a lot. A LOT. Late night talks with mum, long walks and those super long laughing sessions with sis, working, chatting and fixing stuff with dad. A silent conversation with one of the horses. Lovely. And I will see them on Friday already! (Lo on Saturday, but still). Wow.
I haven’t been this excited about Christmas in a long while. :)
Mymlan (one of my Swedish favourites) asks eleven questions about love, and I thought I’d do an experiment and answer them, one at a time, without editing the text afterwards. Spontaneous thoughts are interesting :)
1. What is love?
Love is a feeling, a state of mind, a biological function to help us survive. It’s also a past-time, a way to keep our overworking minds busy.
2. Can you be happy without love?
Definitely. But I don’t think you can spend a whole life without love. Without a partner, yes, but not without love. I think you need something or someone to care about. But it is definitely possible to be happy without love for shorter periods of time
3. Can you live without love?
No, I don’t think so. If you don’t have a partner, you have a friend, siblings, work mates, pets, objects. There needs to be some kind of love.
4. Is it possible to love the same person through your whole life?
Yes, it all depends on what you demand from love. What you expect. I don’t think what is defined as love today, in media, is possible to maintain your whole life. It’s too passionate, too wild, too much “for the moment”. A love lasting a whole life needs to be based on something more, and I think you need to accept that it changes. This might include being satisfied with ok, not looking for awesome all the time. It’s a choice one has to do.
5. Can you love others without loving yourself?
Yes. I don’t think it’s a healthy love, but you can.
6. Can you accept love from others if you don’t love yourself?
No. I know that now. You can understand it, logically, but not accept it. You might always see that person as being wrong, a less intelligent person, that cannot see your mistakes and failures. That doesn’t work.
7. Is it possible to love a person you haven’t met, but know through the Internet?
Absolutely. Meeting in person can both be positive and negative, just like meeting on the Internet. I don’t think there is a big difference. However, I don’t know if I can feel deep love, as in a life-long partner, without meeting the person first. I haven’t tried, but I think that’s one of the very few situations where meeting in person is a requirement to know.
8. Are we too fixed with love, and falling in love, in western society? Or is it the other way around, there’s too little love?
I think there is too much focus on love, and especially on “the love of your life”. It creates pressure and sadness, trying to fit everything into a small definition. Love can be so many things.
9. Can you love someone you don’t like?
No, I think you have to like someone to be able to love.
10. Do you have to love your children/parents?
No, but not doing so is very odd to me. I don’t think I could live such a life, though I understand a lot of people do, without problems.
11. Is there people who can’t love?
There are people for everything. Yes, I think there are people who can’t love.
Phew.
Today is a day to think of all the beautiful things in life. You know, like
And all those other wonderful things you can think of. I want to hug the world, I have so much to share. :)
It got far too late last night, I should sleep. But I don’t want to, I want to think, talk and write.
Lots of weird, and good, thoughts pop up that late. Usually there are too many bad thoughts for it to be useful writing down, but I felt good tonight.
I’m thinking about the future. About love, friends, family, work. I look forward to being a teacher. Teaching students about two of my favourite subjects, make them understand, get better, enjoy it. Also to be there for them, see them and help them grow up, see what kind of persons they might be.
I definitely look forward to having a family. I don’t see me having one soon, but I definitely want to have one. A big one. I have so much love to give, it would be a waste to just have a few children ;)
About friends and love.. that’s tricky. I have so many friends I value, for different things, but I still struggle to think of what I can give them. It still feels like they’re my friends to be nice to me, not because I’m a good friend, even though I know that’s all wrong. I love them, I care for them. They all have their special places in a corner of my heart and it kind of overwhelms me. Not in a bad way, I just feel full of affection.
There’s also that different kind of love. I have a feeling it’s not for me. I will have to wait. I miss the physical parts (hugging, kissing, cuddling) but I don’t miss being in love. I don’t miss being focused on one person.
I’m happy. I’m so glad when I feel this way.
Back in Luleå, back in our apartment. I could say back to life, but everything I do is life really. Just that this is the bigger part of my life right now.
I’ve had a wonderful summer, spending time with my family. Mum and I talk a lot, there’s a lot of crying, discussing, confessing and laughing. I have a lot of things to learn, think about and consider, and I think I know myself better now.
It’s also great to get to talk to my sister, we don’t really get these good talks over msn or phone. There is something special about walking and talking, definitely, and we do it really well :) Boo, I miss them already and I only left yesterday.
I feel stressed. There’s so much I want to do and that I need to get done. I don’t know where to start.
I’m back home, with mum, dad, sis and her boyfriend. Spent Sunday evening and Monday morning on the train, on top of that you actually have someone to be social with here, most of the time. The result: 254 unread items in Google Reader. Since Sunday afternoon!
It’s nice to spend time with the family though, and definitely worth the information overload :P The only thing I miss is online time to keep in touch with friends :)
Stupid cold. I caught a cold this Saturday (probably), and it wont give up. I guess it didn’t help to run around and sort out my sister’s graduation party yesterdat, but this is really bleh. Not bad enough to just sleep, not good enough to actually do something.
*looks evilly at the one who gave me this cold*
Miss my friends and my bed, although it’s still lovely to be here and see the family. Sleep should hopefully cure me, soon. I hear sis and Zelina coming back, so time to be social. Tata! Oh, and don’t stop talking to me just because I’m not on 24/7 :(
Just too many words today. I’m lonely. As long as I keep myself busy I can ignore it, but as soon as I pause it overwhelms me. Random thoughts, random words, and lack of people to keep me off myself. Usually I think of myself as a person that rather keeps other people off me, and spend time alone. But that’s not true, I hate to be lonely (alone). That doesn’t mean I have to have someone to talk to or do something with all the time, I just want someone to be there, once in a while. Just do a bit of small-talk and go back to whatever it was we were doing. I guess I miss living with a family. There were always someone you could talk to, or join, sit with or just look at. Someone was there. I want to go home.
I’m my own worst enemy.
Welcome! I usually go by the name Stylva, Anja or Ylva, but the last is my real name. This was once my primary blog, but is now mainly aimed at gaming, coding and Wordpress. I play a lot of Aion and used to play Guild Wars and World of Warcraft, and I really like Wordpress and theme building :)
If you would like to read more of me, I write in Swedish at tumtum.se.