Mymlan (one of my Swedish favourites) asks eleven questions about love, and I thought I’d do an experiment and answer them, one at a time, without editing the text afterwards. Spontaneous thoughts are interesting :)
1. What is love?
Love is a feeling, a state of mind, a biological function to help us survive. It’s also a past-time, a way to keep our overworking minds busy.
2. Can you be happy without love?
Definitely. But I don’t think you can spend a whole life without love. Without a partner, yes, but not without love. I think you need something or someone to care about. But it is definitely possible to be happy without love for shorter periods of time
3. Can you live without love?
No, I don’t think so. If you don’t have a partner, you have a friend, siblings, work mates, pets, objects. There needs to be some kind of love.
4. Is it possible to love the same person through your whole life?
Yes, it all depends on what you demand from love. What you expect. I don’t think what is defined as love today, in media, is possible to maintain your whole life. It’s too passionate, too wild, too much “for the moment”. A love lasting a whole life needs to be based on something more, and I think you need to accept that it changes. This might include being satisfied with ok, not looking for awesome all the time. It’s a choice one has to do.
5. Can you love others without loving yourself?
Yes. I don’t think it’s a healthy love, but you can.
6. Can you accept love from others if you don’t love yourself?
No. I know that now. You can understand it, logically, but not accept it. You might always see that person as being wrong, a less intelligent person, that cannot see your mistakes and failures. That doesn’t work.
7. Is it possible to love a person you haven’t met, but know through the Internet?
Absolutely. Meeting in person can both be positive and negative, just like meeting on the Internet. I don’t think there is a big difference. However, I don’t know if I can feel deep love, as in a life-long partner, without meeting the person first. I haven’t tried, but I think that’s one of the very few situations where meeting in person is a requirement to know.
8. Are we too fixed with love, and falling in love, in western society? Or is it the other way around, there’s too little love?
I think there is too much focus on love, and especially on “the love of your life”. It creates pressure and sadness, trying to fit everything into a small definition. Love can be so many things.
9. Can you love someone you don’t like?
No, I think you have to like someone to be able to love.
10. Do you have to love your children/parents?
No, but not doing so is very odd to me. I don’t think I could live such a life, though I understand a lot of people do, without problems.
11. Is there people who can’t love?
There are people for everything. Yes, I think there are people who can’t love.
Phew.
